also... Morality by Aphorisms, pt 2
While I was researching the last blog entry, I decided to "have some work done." It was a coincidence: I'd been thinking about it for a while, and there is a plastic surgeon in the suite next door to my salon, plus I'd been in a bit of a rut lately, so I thought, why not? (My poor blog reflects that and I was self-conscious when I noticed -- "I don't have a passion," "I'm numb to the suffering of those far away," "I'm not emotional enough.")
Please do not think it wasn't a bit of a shock to me when I realized what I'd done on an evolutionary level. When we walked on all fours, our rumps showed the female estrus cycle, and when we started walking up-right, we started mating face to face for the first time. The genitals, being hidden, were symbolically replaced by mouth. Lips (both 'upstairs' & 'downtown') get swollen & red after passionate moments. And I learned all that the very evening I had my lips enhanced.
I have blond hair already (sign of youth), long blond hair (sign of health), bright green eyes (show excitement easily), decent boobage (sign of youth), hourglass figure (sign of fertility) and now, fat kissable lips. Sure I bought some of those traits -- I'm not 22 anymore -- but I have them, I wear them proudly, and its important to me that I keep them, and keep perfecting them. Some might say its me trying to cling to youth, but honestly, I didn't look this good when I was young. So I'll say its me being a bit of a perfectionist... or, more generously put, I'm dedicated to my personal evolution & constantly working to improve myself.
The day after I'd had the work done, I went to Sunday dinner at BFF Shari's, slightly swollen. Her step-daughter Paula was visiting and immediately dropped her jammies to show off her new tattoo, a realistic revolver on her thigh. Because I knew I looked odd, I told her I'd just had my lip done and she asked why. I didn't have a good answer for her. She then said she couldn't imagine doing something that would so totally forever change her as a person.
I was taken aback.
I pointed out to her that I am still the same person, I just look a little different now, and that the Juvederm fades away in about a year. Then I pointed out that she had her own lip pierced. Twice. And that she had 8 huge tattoos that really DID change her forever, as ink doesn't fade like a filler does. She left to have a smoke.
At dinner we started talking about Paula's boyfriend's dog, and how because Paula didn't like the dog, it was causing some problems in the relationship. Paula started spewing such hateful things out about the poor dog and how Ian related to the dog. I'd had a couple glasses of wine and in a very joking and coy way, loudly whispered to him "you should dump her."
Paula was very offended. I tried to explain that it was a flip comment: that if your relationship was so fragile that a dog would come between you, ya, maybe you're not right for each other. I meant to put the situation in the context that a problem dog wasn't truly a problem, its easily solved by just taking control of the situation and the changes needed to get the results you want. Evolve. Improve. Perfect yourself.
She left to have a smoke.
I felt pretty bad about it. I worried I'd made a situation poor Shari would be forced to clean up, and worried that Ian really WOULD dump her and I'd be responsible. I apologized and Shari assured me it wasn't a big deal but you never know how a flip comment will be taken by young people. Paula doesn't share the level of intimacy, the rapport, that Shari & I have, she didn't realize how we joke around.
Shari stopped by the salon a couple days later and told me that once Paula & Ian got home, they had a huge fight about the dog. I froze. Shari went on to explain that they'd googled and found some training techniques, and had come up with a plan as to how to make their lives -- with the doggy! -- better. She said I'd saved the dog's life, that chances were good that Ian would have given up the dog to keep Paula happy but now they were taking a step in a new direction and Shari thanked me.
And Paula said the dinner conversation made her change her mind. And that she felt bad that she had taken it all so personally!
As I said in regards to Dr Shermer's many aphorisms on morality: the unexamined life is not worth living but an over-examined life isn't always good either. Its best to not over think everything that comes out of your mouth and sometimes you have to rely on the patternicity/ theory of mind you've developed and go with gusto. Sometimes saying the wrong thing is the right thing to do.